Oy

First off, to my friends who have been trying to support me over the past few days - Thank you all.

Second, if I get told by anyone "I never liked her" or "You deserve better" one more time, I might stab that person. I know you guys think you are being supportive, but look at it from my perspective. When I hear "I never liked her", I think "So you were just pretending to like her because I did. Any nice thing you said about her was bullshit... well great, who else do you only pretend to like because friends like them?" When I hear "You deserve better", I think "Well, if I deserve better but can't get this, how am I ever going to get better. And where the hell is better anyway? I apparently have shitty tastes in your opinion, so maybe you should point out who would be right for me."

For those of you who have actually sat down and talked to me (be it in person or over IM) thank you, but for those of you just offering canned platitudes, please stop.

Now for some song lyrics that just fit the situation - Light as the Breeze by Billy Joel (my mother would tell me that I am too damned cynical about love for my age)

She stands before you naked
You can see it, you can taste it
But she comes to you
Light as the breeze
You can drink or you can nurse it
It don't matter how you worship
As long as you're
Down on your knees

So I knelt there at the delta
At the alpha and the omega
At the cradle of the river
And the seas
And like a blessing come from heaven,
For something like a second,
I was healed, and my heart
Was at ease

O baby I waited
So long for your kiss
For something to happen
Oh - something like this

And you're weak and you're harmless
And you're sleeping in your harness
And the wind going wild
In the trees
And it's not exactly prison
But you'll never be forgiven
For whatever you've done
With the keys

O baby I waited
So long for your kiss
For something to happen
Oh - something like this

It's dark and it's snowing
Oh my love I must be going
The river is starting to freeze
And I'm sick of pretending
I'm broken from bending
I've lived too long
On my knees

And she dances so graceful
And your heart's hard and hateful
And she's naked
But that's just a tease
And you turn in disgust
From your hatred and from your love
And she comes to you
Light as the breeze

O baby I waited
So long for your kiss
For something to happen
Oh - something like this

There's blood on every bracelet
You can see it, you can taste it
And it's please baby
Please baby please
And she says, drink deeply, pilgrim
But don't forget there's still a woman
Beneath this
Resplendent chemise

So I knelt at the delta
At the alpha and the omega
I knelt there
Like one who believes
And like a blessing come from heaven
For something like a second
I was cured, and my heart
Was at ease

O baby I waited
So long for your kiss
For something to happen
Oh - something like this