2006. . . What a year you have been. A year of ups and downs. A year of triumphs and failures. On the surface, 2006 seems like any other year, but it was unique. Things happened in 2006 that haven’t happened before, both on the individual level and the global level. Let’s look into the year as a whole.
Events of 2006 –
January 25 - Hamas wins the majority of seats in the Palestinian Legislative Council elections.
January 31 - Samuel Alito is sworn in as an associate justice of the Supreme Court of the United States.
February 10 - The 2006 Winter Olympics open in Turin, Italy. The closing ceremony occurs on February 26.
February 11 - U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shoots his friend and lawyer, Harry Whittington, in the face with a shotgun on a south Texas ranch.
March 17 - The United States, the last nation in the world to have battleships in a reserve fleet, strikes its 2 remaining Iowa-class battleships from the Naval Vessel Register, ending the age of the battleship.
April 11 - President of Iran Mahmoud Ahmadinejad confirms that Iran has successfully produced a few grams of 3.5% low-grade enriched uranium.
April 20 - Iran announces a uranium enrichment deal with Russia, involving a joint uranium enrichment firm on Russian soil; 9 days later Iran announces that it will not move all activity to Russia, thus leading to a de-facto termination of the deal.
April - A jury deliberates over the sentence of convicted terrorist Zacarias Moussaoui, finally sentenced to life in prison May 3.
May 28 - President Alvaro Uribe Velez is re-elected in Colombia for a second term. He becomes the first president in over a century to serve consecutive terms.
June 7 - Al-Qaeda in Iraq leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi and 7 of his aides are killed in a U.S. air raid just north of the town of Baqouba, Iraq.
June 29 - Hamdan v. Rumsfeld: The United States Supreme Court rules that the military commissions to be used to try some detainees in the Guantanamo Bay detainment camp are illegal.
July 5 - North Korea test fires at least 7 missiles including a long-range Taepodong-2.
July 31 - Fidel Castro, President of Cuba, temporarily relinquishes power to his brother Raúl before surgery.
August 31 - Edvard Munch paintings The Scream and Madonna are recovered in a police raid in Oslo, Norway.
September 11 - Walt Disney Pictures's Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest becomes the third and fastest film in Hollywood history to reach the billion dollar worldwide box office mark with $1,004,100,000.
September 13 - The solar system's largest dwarf planet, designated until now as 2003 UB313, is officially named "Eris"; its satellite is now known as "Dysnomia".
September 29 - U.S. Representative Mark Foley (R-FL) resigns after it is revealed that he sent explicit e-mails for several years to underage male pages.
October 9 - North Korea claims to have conducted its first ever nuclear test
October 10 - Google buys YouTube for USD $1.65 billion
October 15 - The UN agrees to sanction North Korea over nuclear testing issue.
October 19 - On the 19th anniversary of the 1987 stock market crash, the Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above 12,000 for the first time gaining 19.05 points, or 0.16%, to 12,011.73.
October 30 - Former Chilean Dictator Augusto Pinochet is placed under house arrest for crimes committed at the Villa Grimaldi detention centre where thousands were tortured between 1974 and 1977.
October 31 - Veteran Game Show host Bob Barker announces his retirement from The Price is Right in June 2007 after 35 years as host and after 50 years on television.
October 31 - A comment by US senator John Kerry causes a stir after accidentally insulting the intelligence of American troops in Iraq. He explained that he botched a joke meant to insult the intelligence of President George W. Bush, and later apologized to anyone offended by his comment.
November 5 - Former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein and 2 of his senior allies are sentenced to death by hanging after an Iraqi court finds them guilty of crimes against humanity.
November 6 – 50th anniversary of Republican incumbent Dwight D. Eisenhower’s re-election by defeating Democrat challenger Adlai E. Stevenson in a rematch of their contest four years earlier.
November 7 - U.S. Midterm elections: Democrats win control of both houses of Congress for the first time since 1994.
November 7 - In the U.S. congressional elections, Minnesota Democrat Keith Ellison becomes the first Muslim elected to the House of Representatives.
November 8 - U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld resigns; President Bush nominates Robert Gates, a former CIA director, as his replacement. Gates is then confirmed by the U.S. Senate and sworn in on December 18.
November 20 - Iran and Syria recognize the government of Iraq, restore diplomatic relations, and call for a peace conference.
December 15 - An alleged assassination attempt on the Palestinian prime minister Ismail Haniyeh sparks inter-Palestinian clashes.
December 25 – James Brown dies.
December 26 - Gerald Ford, 38th President of the United States dies.
December 30 - Saddam Hussein, former Iraq president, is executed in Baghdad.
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Whew! Now that was a year.
2006 was also a year of quotes. Here are a some of the more memorable from the year –
The old man looks like he wants to give someone the shocker. – JJK while watching “The Stand”. . . he even did the hand motion.
Girls make my head hurt. If they didn't have boobs, smell nice, feel good, and look so god damn sexy, I wouldn't have anything to do with them. – Roger “Jelly” Spitler
Oh Jesus. . . not me, the other Jesus – Roxie
Yes? – Me
No, not you, the other one. The original one. The godfather of all Jesuses. – Roxie
Jesus was nice every day of the week – Heather
Not on Saturday. Jesus was a bastard on Saturdays. – Me
"Wow. . . that is the first time I have ever been turned on by a Chipmunks song." -BJ
"I was just thinking the exact same thing my friend." -Me
If you didn’t struggle, it wouldn’t hurt. – Kid Pious
That was the best bug polymorphed into human on robot action ever. And if bugs weren’t meant to be polymorphed into humans and have sex with intelligent robots, I don’t want to be right. – BJ
Dude, you know zombies give great cunnilingus. You know, they are going for the brains, but they are totally in the wrong place, and they are totally going at it. – BJ
I must be an acquired taste. But that’s ok. I’ll just make people grow to like me, like pond scum. - Heather
Double the cum, double the fun. - Heather
Just fuck the bitch…
(Two minutes later) You’re not even allowed to screw her anymore. - Heather
It’s hot. I mean I think I have butt sweat. – Heather
Yeah George! Way to get a hug from the chick with swamp ass. That’s hot. – BJ
It’s not swamp ass if it isn’t in the crack! – Heather
What if she was a twenty-two year old good nympho who pleased your member up one side and down the other? Would you have broken up with her then? And yes I did say “pleased your member up one side and down the other”. - Heather
It’s better because you can talk with it in your mouth. I can talk with just about anything in my mouth, believe you me. - Heather
All the pleasure half the size. – Heather (In reference to a sucker.)
This is why I don’t feel bad about doing your mom in the ass. – BJ to Mike
Yeah, sorry Mike. I fucked your mom in the wrong hole. – BJ to Mike
Oh yeah, I just became so ravenous for the wang that I needed to rip your underwear off. - Natasha
Come on, you know Mike has a really needy wang… “Tell me I’m pretty. Why don’t you ever call me any more?” – BJ to Mike
He’s so big. It’s like fighting a black man’s wang. – BJ while playing Super Smash Brothers Melee
“George, will you get in my mouth already?!” – BJ to George while playing Super Smash Brothers Melee
I'm not sure you understand the power of my monkey lust right now. – BJ (Talking about Chunky Monkey Ice Cream)
BJ NO! What have we talked about? – Mike
No sticking things you own in my crotch… - BJ
And what did you do? – Mike
Stuck something you owned I my crotch. – BJ
“So Jesus was the first zombie.” – Sarah
“Wait, what about Lazarus?” – BJ
“So Lazarus bit Jesus.” – Mike
“So Lazarus started the Jesus AIDS, and Jesus AIDS are secretly Zombie-ism. Ipso facto Jesus was great at eating girls out! Mary Magdalene was the happiest woman in the history of the world!” – BJ
“See, it is like B is over here sucking on my left ball, and J is over here sucking on my right ball. So B and J are just sucking both my balls.” – Mike explaining to BJ how BJ can suck both his balls.
This is like football gay, not real gay. - Phil
YES! SPREAD THE MONKEY SPANKING! – Me (Talking to Roxie about an online game. . . I swear)
“Whenever someone tells me that they have burned all their bridges, I look at them and tell them truthfully that I don’t build bridges that burn. Every bridge I have ever built to a friend’s heart has been made of stone. I don’t allow a few words or actions to destroy a relationship built on many many good experiences.” – Me
“Whenever life seems to suck and nothing is going your way, do what I do. Think ahead and ask yourself, ‘Are these things going to matter to me in 1 year? 5 years? 10?’ If the answer to any of those questions is no, then let it go. Don’t let the little things get you down.” – Me
"A true friend is like the sound of your footsteps; always with you, through light and dark, in silence when there is no one else, and in a crowd even when you can’t hear them. When things are soft and comfortable you may not notice the sound of your footsteps, but when things get hard, that is when you notice that the sound of your footsteps is always there keeping time with you.” – Me
"You know that guy who always has a smile on his face. The guy who is there to lift his friends up when they are sad. The one who makes you smile even when you are mad at everyone and everything including him. The guy who, even when life seems to suck for him, is happy and does his best to make sure everyone else is happy. That is who I want to be remembered as. I want to be remembered as the guy who could brighten up everyone else's days even when he couldn't brighten up his own." – Me
Beauty is a personal concept. One man may find beauty in a sunset, and another in a flower. Society may say, “This is what is beautiful, and everything else is ugly”, but I don’t care about what society sees. I care about what I see, and when I look at you I see beauty. - Me
Beauty has power over us. We can't control it. We can be aware of it and try to reduce the effect, but we can't control it - Mark Seely
What is it about beauty that affects me so? One look at lovely eyes and my mouth stops working right. One glimpse of a beautiful smile and my brain shuts down. In the face of beauty I am reduced to simplistic small talk and weakly witty banter… and I think it is one of the greatest feelings in the world. – Me
When a man is thinking about matters of the heart, the most common expression on his face will be one of confusion. – Me
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Yeah, that last one really expresses a lot recently, but before I get into that, I want to go ahead and post up a few new quotes from 2007 (I already have some. . . and wow. . . just wow.) -
“Oh God! I’m gonna be a college slut!” – Catherine
“Have you seen any old pictures of his mom? She was so cockworthy dude!” – Scott
“I just fucking broke a nail.” – Scott
“I LOVE GEORGE!” – Catherine
“You guys got the penis thing.” – Ben
“No damnit! I am not going to wear your man-thong with a tape measure on it. Put it down Will. . . DAMNIT! Don’t try to put that thing on my head!” – Me
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That is what I get for hanging out with my former coworkers at 1am on January 1.
Next, I’d like to say a few things about some people who have made a difference in my life this past year. I won’t say who most of these people are, but if you know me, you can probably figure out who they are. (Note, these are in a random order . . . but somehow the person who assisted in making them random ended up last) –
1. I only really got to know you in the past year. We’ve had a few rough patches, but overall I think we are good friends and there are no hard feelings. No matter how many times you tell me that you owe me for the things I have done for you, I am going to insist that you don’t. Friends help each other out when they need it, and your insanity has kept me sane when I would have broken down. Just being you is repayment enough you Stupid Crazy Fool.
2. Until this past month I hadn’t seen you in three and a half years. You haven’t really changed, but at the same time you are a completely different person. I know you don’t read this, but I know that you know I really appreciate what you do for the country, no matter how much it pisses you off.
3. You . . . oh you. You are another person I only got to know over 2006, but I wouldn’t trade our friendship for the world. You are an amazing person, and just talking to you brightens my day. You have to go through more shit than anyone should, but somehow you still manage to muck through. Always know that you have friends who are here for you, because you are always here for us. One thing though – Get some self-confidence girl.
4. We don’t talk as much as we should. Random IM snippets or Blog comments really aren’t sufficient. Our philosophical conversations are one of the few things I really miss about High School (that and all of us goofing around during music events are about it). Sitting around debating the meanings of the universe is something I love doing, but don’t do anymore for some reason. We need to find some way to start those conversations back up. I know you read this periodically, so I will make sure to let you know if anything is going on here at SJC that you might want to come see (like hopefully me in Chicago).
5. You’ve always been here for me, and I love you to death. You are one of the few people in this world I feel safe actually talking to about anything. I’m sorry I’m not home more often and even more sorry that I am normally ensconced at my computer when we are both home. I’ve somewhat changed that this break, and I hope to spend quite a bit more time just hanging out with you before I head back to campus.
6. Wonder nerd powers activate! Form of – two friends who are too much alike! In you I have found someone whose nerdiness rivals (and in some areas surpasses) my own. Being able to make jokes about quantum particles, quote cartoons by heart, and randomly break into song and always knowing that there is someone around who will probably join in my randomness is always comforting.
7. As always you have been my inspiration. You have had the hardest life I can imagine, yet you are never sad. You live with constant hardship. Even walking is difficult for you, but you never complain. You are somehow the happiest person I know, and you have the ability to make any and everyone around you happy. I don’t know how you do it little bro’, but keep it up.
8. In you I have found two things. First, someone I can talk to both on and offline. I have a hard time having a fifteen minute online conversation with most people, but somehow we have managed to have not just one, but multiple online conversations lasting in excess of 4 hours. Second, a member of the opposite sex I don’t feel odd around when I reveal my nerdiness. Hell, in one aspect of nerdiness I am positive you beat me anyway.
9. You are my role model. If I can somehow find a way to become half the man you are, find a wife who loves me half as much as yours does, and manage to raise a family while dealing with the shit you deal with at work, the constant pain from you neck, and the other health problems you have. . . if I can find a way to manage to have a life even half as good as the one you have created for yourself and your family I will count myself as an incredibly lucky guy. I love you and I am proud to call you Dad.
10. As we said to each other in a conversation right before I wrote this post, “Go team nerd!” Between you and person 6, I know that any nerdy thing I think or say is not unique to me. I know that there is someone I can talk to about it. Heck I think we reached the height of nerd-dom earlier this afternoon, and it was tons of fun. You just need to get some books so I can borrow some from you for a change.
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Now to the topic I had the most trouble thinking about – Things I Learned in 2006. It isn’t that I didn’t learn things, because I did. It is just that I can’t think of very many things to list in this that aren’t cynical or downright depressing. Here goes though –
- Sometimes death isn’t something to be mourned, but rather it can be something to be accepted.
- Sometimes you can just be friends, and in doing so make some of the best friends you have ever had.
- Even if you have been having prophetic dreams for 20 years, don't trust dreams involving beautiful women. Sure, you may meet those women, but it will then turn out that God was just fucking with you again.
- Having a sentient computer can really suck when it decides to be exceedingly cruel and play certain songs over and over again.
- Nice guys don’t finish last. No, to the contrary, they don’t even get out of the starting gate because there is a sniper positioned to take them out early on.
- God has a hidden pair of arms. He uses these when you give him a double high five to sucker punch you in the stomach.
- I am apparently marriage material, but not boyfriend material.
- BJ looks more natural in an adorable pink dress than in his ordinary attire.
- Mike's physical repulsiveness is apparently not genetic.
- I have a problem expressing how I truly feel to people, and it stems from years of rejection and loneliness.
- Not everyone has the same notions about what a friend is.
- I talk too much when I have been drinking.
- Sometimes it is just easier and less painful to just stop giving a crap.
- I cannot be an actual asshole. I can make some pretty mean comments sometimes, but then I feel bad and have to make it up to the person. I am nice guy and I can’t get around it.
- House M.D. is one of the greatest television masterpieces ever created.
- No matter what you think, or what everyone is telling you, there is no such thing as a sure thing, so you should never take something for granted and expect it to happen. That just leads to more pain in the long run.
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Now I want to put up a quote and a song for the year. This is difficult for me. There are so many that fit so well.
For the quote, I am going to have to go with one of my favorite quotes ever:
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” – Neil Gaiman
Now, this quote is somewhat sarcastic. It is a comment on what love can do to a person. The thing that Gaiman is saying he hates isn’t really love itself, but what love can do to you if it doesn’t work out.
For a song, I was torn, so I am going to have to go with two songs. First is one that just seems apt. Here’s “Nice Guys Finish Last” by Green Day:
Nice guys finish last
You're running out of gas
Your sympathy will get you left behind
Sometimes you're at your best, when you feel the worst
Do you feel washed up like piss going down the drain
Pressure cooker pick my brain and tell me I'm insane
I'm so fucking happy I could cry
Every joke can have its truth but now the joke's on you
I never knew you were such a funny guy
Oh nice guys finish last, when you run out of gas,
Don't pat yourself on the back, you might break your spine
Living on command
You're shaking lots of hands
You’re kissing up and bleeding all your trust
taking what you need
Bite the hand that feeds
You lose your memory
and you got no shame
Pressure cooker pick my brain and tell me I'm insane
I'm so fucking happy I could cry
Every joke can have its truth but now the joke's on you
I never knew you were such a funny guy
Oh nice guys finish last, when you run out of gas,
Don't pat yourself on the back, you might break your spine
The next song is just my feelings lately. It reflects my current feelings better than I can. Here’s “It Ends Tonight” by The All-American Rejects:
Your subtletiesWell, so that is what I have to say about 2006. Hopefully 2007 ends up better than 2006 seems to have for me. I'm not sure if I am going to make any kind of resolution for myself. If I end up making one, I will be sure to post something about it.
They strangle me
I can’t explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don’t want to need at all.
The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can’t explain what you can’t explain.
You're finding things that you didn’t know
I look at you with such distain
The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Now I’m on my own side
It’s better than being on your side
It’s my fault when you're blind
It’s better that I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you’re the first to know
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends when darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Tonight, Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.
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