. . . . . . . Why?
How many fucking crosses does my little brother have to fucking bear?
Are cerebral palsy, mental retardation, Attention Deficit Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Pica not enough?
Apparantly not, because he just had two and a half feet of his small intestines removed because they became twisted and died. Right now he is in the intensive care unit of the hospital heavily sedated and unconscious so he can't pull out the various tubes and IV's they have him on. Apparantly he is going to be sedated like that for at least the next two days.
My parents are on the verge of breaking down. He was just starting to really recover from his leg surgery in April and then this happens. It seems whenever we start getting one of his problems under control a new one crops up.
Oh yeah, did I mention that it looks like he has spontaneously become diabetic?
At the moment I am sitting in my room with tears streaming down my cheeks as I write this. I am keeping myself composed and calm when I am around my parents because if they see me lose it I know that they won't be able to take it any more and they will both have breakdowns . . . my dad is just about there already. I am dead tired after getting up to take care of Tom yesterday morning when he started feeling sick, working last night, and then going to the hospital not once but twice today to ferry my parents back and forth and make sure they are taking care of themselves and eating (the place is 45 minutes away). And now I am getting ready to head to work for the night.
I am physically and emotionally drained and I want to know why the hell my little brother who is probably the closest thing to an innocent over the age of 5 I have ever seen has to suffer so much. This morning he was crying and begging my parents to give him something to drink, which of course we couldn't do because his bowels were twisted and anything that went into his stomach would just have to be suctioned out. He was even begging for pop - my little brother who has spit out every mouthful of every carbonated beverage he has ever tasted was begging for pop. . . .
I am glad I have this place to just vent and let out all the shit that is building up inside of me, because keeping it all inside when I am in front of my parents is so hard that sometimes I just want to scream.
Why Tom? Why can't it be some drug dealing, smut peddling, crackwhore and her pimp who have this type of shit happen to them? If there is some grand plan out there, why does it strike down the good people like my little brother and allow whores, pimps, and drugdealers to thrive?
Whew . . . . I feel a bit better now. Well . . . time to go to work and serve the masses their popcorn and pop.
7/18/2006
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
(hug)
You have every bit of empathy this mean-spirited conservative can muster. Feel free to call me any time (number on Facebook).
Some of life sucks, and there's really nothing I can say to make that stop. But some of life, for lack of poetic muse, does not suck. Staying positive will help.
Post a Comment