Loneliness

Little do men perceive what solitude is, and how far it extendeth. For a crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures, and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love. - Francis Bacon

I'm starting to actually understand this quote. It is sad, but true. I'm stuck in a dead in job where my boss apparently loathes me. My father's health is slipping away. My friends are scattered across two states, and I rarely see any of them. Even when I do, it is for fleeting periods of time and they apparently get bored with me rather quickly.

I don't know who to turn to. I don't know what to do. I feel like I am a man lost at sea. I'm at the mercy of the waves of life, and I have nobody and nothing to cling to. Right now all I want is to sit with someone, hold their hand, and tell them all the gut-wrenching feelings in my heart. My fears, my worries, my joys, my sickening doubts, and my clarion sureties. I want to share it all with someone, but I haven't found her. I haven't found the woman who wants to share that with me. I know she's out there somewhere, but the waiting is hard. The waiting is painful. I want the waiting to finally come to an end.

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I miss you, whoever you are. I'm here, I'm waiting. Let's find each other soon.