You see, over the past week I have had several chats with old friends from high school and I have had a very similar conversation with four different female friends. In our conversations, all four of them found some way to say that I was "great friend material, but none of them ever considered me as boyfriend material", "a big teddy bear", "the guy who they know they can always come to for help and advice", and "the kind of guy that women bring to clubs to act as a bodyguard to keep the creepy guys away" (or some similar comment to the same effect).
After all of these conversations, my mind took the three hours of yardwork to sort through how I got categorized as the "great friend, but not boyfriend" type. . . and I think I got it.
I am a weird guy, I am fully willing to admit that, but to counter that weirdness I have spent most of my life developing the nice guy image I have. I don't act the way other guys tend to around women, and I think that is my problem.
In my attempt to be a gentleman I have done the following:
I put myself out and give up chairs to women without any thought of gaining anything.
I take the bait whenever a female friend goes fishing for compliments.
I make no untoward comments unless I know all present females will not be offended.
I focus on a woman's face (that is right guys, women have faces) and not on other assets when talking to her.
When you add up all of these little things, and thousands of other tiny things I have trained myself to do over the years to make girls actually feel comfortable around me have backfired. They now feel too comfortable around me. No one feels that they have any reason to worry with me around, because they know I won't try anything.
Hell, I can wander the halls of the women's dorms and the only thing Security or the RAs will say to me is "Hey George".
At one point right after Christmas break, someone made a joke about me giving up my seat to a female because I wanted to get in her pants and she responded by saying, "George isn't the kind of guy who tries to get into girls' pants."
Telling these stories about myself sadly reminds me of a story my mom told me about one of her friends at college. This guy was so openly gay that he was allowed to sleep over in the girls' dorms because the RAs knew he wasn't doing anything with the girls. That sounds way to close to my stories for comfort.
I have made myself seem so nonthreatening and normal that I think I finally understand why kings used to trust eunuchs to guard their harems. If a guy shows absolutely no overt signs that he realizes when women are attractive, he is considered harmless. . . which brings me to the quote that I thought of earlier today -
There's nothing worse than the girl who is considered charmless, except the man who is considered harmless.
That is right people, I am the saddest thing in this world. I am that man who is considered so harmless by women that I might as well be a eunuch. Hell, I might even get women to show more interest in me if I actually castrated myself. At least then I would have that whole "crazy guy who cut off his own balls" edge going for me.
Luckily for me, not everyone sees things in the exact same way, and one of these days I am going to find that woman who doesn't see me as a eunuch. . . hopefully.
2 comments:
oh crazy fool....don't be so hard on ur self....it is better to be where u r than to be the jerk that everyone despises cause all he does is want to have sex with girls....all the time....every second....kinda like ur co-workers??? just remember....its a good thing that i think of u as a teddy bear...hahaha...i wouldn't want to scare ya...it could be worse george...u could walk the halls of justin, late at night, and not be noticed....like me...haha
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